


Lonely

by Greybin (TyunnieBFF)



Category: TOMORROW X TOGETHER | TXT (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, Depressed Kang Taehyun, Friendship, Gen, Heavy Angst, Hurt, Hurt Kang Taehyun, Hurt No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kang Taehyun-Centric, Loneliness, M/M, References to Depression, Sad, Sad Kang Taehyun, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-02
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:21:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26761285
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TyunnieBFF/pseuds/Greybin
Summary: At the end he'll always be aloneSo why bother?A Taegyu centric! Can be interpreted as platonic or romantic~
Relationships: Choi Beomgyu & Kang Taehyun, Choi Beomgyu/Kang Taehyun, Choi Soobin/Kang Taehyun, Choi Yeonjun & Kang Taehyun, Huening Kai & Kang Taehyun, Kang Taehyun & Everyone, Kang Taehyun/Everyone
Comments: 4
Kudos: 52





	Lonely

“Hey can you help me with this?” Taehyun looks up from his book to see a boy, raven haired with a nervous smile. It was the new kid that came in days ago, freakishly tall and sporting wavy black hair. “Sure” Taehyun nods, and gestures for the male to sit in front of him. The library is quite deserted after school dismiss, only a few heads can be seen but too deep into their studies.

“I’m Beomgyu, Choi Beomgyu. Nice to meet you…?”

“Kang Taehyun” 

Taehyun scans down the page he was asked to help out with, they don’t share anymore words as Taehyun gets them right into solving the chemistry question. Beomgyu picks up fast so it's not even a hassle for Taehyun to teach him “Well...Taehyun shii, thank you for helping me out…..”

“Not a problem sunbaenim” It wasn’t that he didn’t notice the different colored tie Beomgyu is sporting, and indicator he is a grade above the boy. Taehyun can’t help but giggle at Beomgyu’s embarrassed look, “Ah so you knew…..waa embarrassing!” 

“SHHH!” the librarian glares at them, making the two boys cover their mouth to stifle more of their amused laughter. “Well, it was nice knowing you Taehyunnie, see you around” Beomgyu tells him and walks away with a wave.

Taehyun shakes his head with a smile, that was nice.

_ 

“Beomgyu hyung you’re being ridiculous” Taehyun remarks with obvious exasperation in his voice, the smaller boy casting judgy looks at his brown-haired senior who is holding a cat cap in his palms while giving Taehyun his best puppy eyes, which were no way at all having an effect on the junior.

“Please! Just this one-time Taehyunnie! Come on you’d look so cute!” Taehyun snorts at the plea “I’d rather dump milk on Jungkook sunbae than to wear that monstrosity” which earns him a pout from the hyung a year older than him.

They meet up again after that impromptu tutor session, once or twice but that soon morphs into weekly hangouts and gradually they get really close. Despite the age difference, they make great friends.

“No”

“Yes”

Taehyun is half fuming with annoyance with his arms crossed, his doe eyes glaring daggers at the older who is too busy cooing and taking pictures of him, “Smile for hyung Taehyunnie!” Beomgyu sings songs but tumbles backwards in his fit of laughter when Taehyun throws him the middle finger.

“Fuck off hyung!”

_

Beomgyu graduated 5 months ago

Taehyun has gotten radio silence treatment from the elder ever since his graduation day, not a call or a message nor had they met. The boy sighs as Beomgyu once again ignored his messages, he turns off the smartphone in his hands and pocket it away

He is walking alone down the park’s pathway, hands buried deep into his pockets with his eyebrows furrowed and cheeks puffed.

And he’s alone again.

Just like when Kai had to move away to America during middle school and they lost contact since. His first friend, they shared a good decade long friendship, and that friendship crumbles down to nothing overnight. Kai was all he had, he finds it hard to make friends without the other.

Maybe even like that time he rushed halfway across town on foot with a heavy heart, footsteps frantic and sloppy when he reached the destination, voice screaming out with anguish and choked sobs as strangers held him back from entering the burning apartment complex.

He can’t really forget the day he returned with Yeonjun, his first foster brother to his first foster home when he was fifteen. Not that Yeonjun was fond of him or anything, they had a neutral foster siblings’ relationship, as neutral as being under two abusive adults' care can be. 

They didn’t particularly have a close bond but Taehyun’s world still shattered the night he saw Yeonjun bloody and battered on the floor, his life slowly fading away while muttering to Taehyun to “Run”.

Taehyun hears sirens, he takes off into the streets not wanting to be caught and placed into another nightmare. Thankfully, he found an orphanage that gladly took him in, but still no friends, who wants to be friends with the quite weird kid?

He’s alone again

Or the time when Soobin found out he had a crush on him during his first year of high school and the elder subtly but surely made it clear he didn’t want anything to do with Taehyun after finding that out. Declining hangouts, avoiding him whenever he can help it. His first love drifts away from him, and Taehyun doesn't know which hurts worse.

The heartbreak or the loneliness that comes after it.

Then came Beomgyu, who he for once thought would be different, Taehyun believes Beomgyu will be the first constant he has in his life. Because Beomgyu is warm, he doesn’t mind that Taehyun needs to take special meds, he didn’t mind that some days Taehyun can’t hold conversations, Beomgyu would hold him gently in his arms and Taehyun swears the only time he feels safe is when those pair of arms are around him.

Beomgyu was the best thing that ever happened to him.

_Was_

Sadly, for him, like everything else in his life, Beomgyu was temporary too.

> _Baby I’m so lonely so lonely_
> 
> _I feel like I’m alone_
> 
> _I don’t want to make it obvious to you_
> 
> _I’m used to just holding it in_
> 
> _Understand me_

Taehyun finds himself on Hanlim’s rooftop, it was early in the morning and the air is chilly from the late spring. The boy with his hands clasps together softly makes his way to the very edge, arms now perching on the supporting rails.

Its ironically serene up there at such an ungodly hour, the breeze blows through his black hair, the strands of black fluttering in rhythm with the melody of nature. Taehyun smiles as he waits, the sun shall rise soon and that’ll be his cue to go.

At the first few rays appearing from the horizon, Taehyun lets out a deep breath and takes off his shoes, the boy hoist himself up to sit on the fairly thin railings with his feet hanging above a 5-floor drop. He admires the scene, a pretty sight before his depart.

***Phone ringing***

Taehyun is startled to hear his phone suddenly ringing, an unknown number appearing on his screen. Nevertheless, something in him told him to pick it up anyway, it did spike his curiosity since he rarely ever gets calls.

_“Hello Taehyunnie”_

Taehyun nearly drops the phone at the voice, he knows that voice anywhere.

_“I’m sorry we haven’t talked for so long; I should’ve told you that I had to switch number but things popped up and I never memorized yours. I’m so sorry for that, I swear I didn’t purposely ghost you or anything”_

Beomgyu, Beomgyu is calling him, he’s listening to that voice he misses so much now.

_“How’s everything? I hope you didn’t wait for me too long? Any new friends or maybe even a boyfriend? I just got back from my trip to America recently, I found that childhood buddy of yours Hueningkai! Sweet kid, a lot like you but…louder? Haha, he was so excited when I told him I’m a friend of yours, in fact he came back to Korea with me”_

Taehyun can’t believe this, his hands are almost turning blue with how hard he is gripping the metal rails while he feels like he’s going to choke on thin air.

_“Plus, I was visiting a friend at the hospital just the other day and by chance I think I might’ve found that foster brother of yours! Choi Yeonjun right? He just recently woke up from a 3-year long coma and is making some great recovery.”_

The black-haired boy is trembling, silent tears trailing down his cheeks that feel like ice on his face with the breeze.

_“Also, you’d never guess what I also found out? Soobin hyung? That Choi Soobin you told me about? He’s the mystery admirer that keeps leaving you snacks in your locker! That boy is so smitten for you he can’t even stand a mile in your radius without turning into a flustered mess but he’s so dumbly convinced you deserve someone better it hurts to watch him push you away. Don’t worry though, I talked some senses into him for ya”_

Taehyun lifts his gaze from his lap, eyes glancing down the building as he holds in his sobs. There right below is a tall boy looking up to him, their eyes now locking, one hand clutching his blazer with distress while the other is holding his phone up. The evident fear in his eyes is so prominent Taehyun can tell he’s terrified for him.

_“I never forgot you y’know? I could never. You’re my best friend Taehyunnie, even in such a short time of knowing each other, you’re my best friend and you mean so much to me…..and to many others as well”_

He hears slow screeches of the door; hesitant footsteps can be heard from behind him. He doesn’t look back, only keeping his eyes trained on Beomgyu. But he knows Hueningkai and Soobin are behind him, getting ready to catch him if he lets go.

_“Don’t…Please don’t do it Taehyunnie…..P-Please…..get down from there…and come back to me…..to us….Please Taehyunnie…..don’t do it…..I promise, you’ll never be alone again”_

**That’s what they all say don’t they?**

But Taehyun is done, he’s done trying to live, he’s too tired and sick of being abandoned. Because no matter what he was promised, no matter how genuine those words may be, he always and forever will end up alone in the end. It’s just his curse.

Why put himself through more hell if he can just end the story here?

**“Goodbye hyung”**

“NO!!!!!!”

“TAEHYUN!!!”

> _Baby I’m so Lonely so Lonely_
> 
> _it seems I am alone as well_
> 
> _still, I hate hiding from you_
> 
> _I am more accustomed to endure this alone_
> 
> _please understand me_

**Author's Note:**

> I vomit write this instead of studying
> 
> Thank you for reading!


End file.
